Why Gyaru will survive the zombie apocalypse
Posted January 10th, 2013 by Mitsu
Old school Egg models Aina and Yumachi got your back (zombie from The Walking Dead)
Which is probably the least likely post title I’ll ever write and yet I have! Who knew a style started back with club going high school girls in the 90s would still last. If it’s lasted 20 years almost, it can surely last a hoard of zombies.
Many have seen long-term gyaru dominance as a symptom of a depressed Japanese economy’s inability to invent and push new styles. Looking closely at the actual changes in fashion and cosmetics, however, the gyaru of 2012 look almost nothing like the gyaru of 2000 let alone those of 1992. Gyaru, in other words, have not actually been a single tribe or subculture, but instead, something like a “style stream” — with each incarnation influencing the next but radically changing along the way.
- W David Marx for Neojapanisme
The above is a great summary of gyaru and the articles about the History of Gyaru are a must read for any style enthusiast.
But could it outlast a ravenous group of underbeings set on eating your flesh?
I say YES!
and I’ll tell you why below!
1) Gyaru nails
Beautiful and deadly. Our easiest weapons. Images from the awesome Okayama nail salon Amulet
Zombie coming for your flesh, it’s so tasty and for the kurogyaru it’s so nice a baked. I am sure that must be heaven for a zombie. But then you’d be wrong. 
Close combat is made for nail fighting. We already have weapons and they’re pretty! The more metal bits the better. Even better yet, apocalypse nailists could make little nail swords. Or truly sharpen them to points.
image courtesy of Theophany
That is the future of gyaru nails. Massive attack on your hands.
Current total:
Zombies: 0
Gyaru: 1
2) Heels
Earth colors for easy camouflage in a desolate world. Still fashionable though!
You may think our love of heels may put us at a disadvantage and that’s where you’d be wrong! Those high heels have bred balance and leg strength. No train to take you to 109? NO problem! Hiking is our strongpoint. Walking over loads of bodies is easy when you have braved the cracked streets of any downtown in 4 inch heels. Also gyaru weapon #2!
New total:
Zombies: 0
Gyaru: 2 
3) The gyaru bag
Photos from Brandon Woo’s flickr. Don’t fault the girls too much it was 6am, they had just had a really good time.
Often the size of a gyaru loving girl’s hair is dimished compared to her giant bag. There’s everything in there. It’s a venerable Mary Poppins adventure. I’ve got snacks, perfume (alcohol for Molotov cocktails), keys (another close combat weapon), make-up tools, a change of clothes and flats. If the apocalypse happened immediately, don’t worry many gyaru have their second home in their bags. 
Mid Total
Zombies: Brainsssss ….eer 0
Gyaru: 3
4) Goa
Have you seen Goa? No really. Have you seen it??? We already have a style option built for all the dreadful weather of an apocalypse.
Unisex they are all ready to survive whatever adventuring may need to happen.
Goa shoots their catalog like they’ve been living in the zombie apocalypse for years!
There I put an outfit together for your apocalypse chic. You’re welcome. Universal-Doll styling your life for now and any impending doom. 
Is it me or is the Goa dress a low-rent version of Sharon Needles’ Rupocalypse dress from RuPaul’s Drag Race?
Final total:
Zombies: 0
Gyaru: 4
OMG ahahaha, I LOVE this post!!
If you have to run away from your home due to it being overrun by zombies, bring all your weave and your wigs! If you were to get cold in the wilderness, you can just wrap all your fake hair around you to gain warmth! Hahaha
Goa’s things look awesome. And yeah, that dress really reminded me of Sharon Needle’s!
OMG this must be the most awsome article! Very creative and funny at the same time.
Gyaru FTW!
Totally agree on the nails part. Our mightiest weapon. And when I read that bag part I automatically nodded :D
this was such a fun article to read. well done – love the tongue and cheek
http://www.lovefromberlin.net/
xx rae
Best. Title. Ever.
XDDDDDDDDDDDD Hilarious!!
I was already sure before reading this that gyaru will survive anything, but you made me even more sure XD
omfg. This is just the most fucking awesome and truthful entry about gyaru style that ever written!
I can’t wait to share this!! XDDD
wow!
with point 4 taking up about 80% of my closet…
I think I’ll be fine when the apocalypse hits! (ﾟ∀ﾟ)ノイエイ!!www
Lolol I was thinking of you and Lucie and your all weather coats
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is very awesome!!
Working at Sbux means no nails for me but come the apocalypse, I will be heading to the nail place next door for all the metal bits and gel they can spare. lol
I’m really liking that Goa style! I like dressing androgynously but I’m finding it kind of hard to incorporate into Gyaru.
Actually looking at the site it’s a bit too Ke$ha for me. No thanks…
birch please
This post is gold!
lol. most hilarious post ever. i was entertained
love this !
Bwhahaha this is hilarious!
Hahaha! This is amazing!
This was an absolutely incredibly fun post and I can’t stop laugh
haha awesome!
http://whatmakesuslive.wordpress.com
Thanks for liking it ♥♥
I-I can’t breathe LOL
hehehe I’m happy you found it funny :D
Nice! ^___^
Thanks ♥
BEST POST EVER.
Glad you liked it!! :D